Who am I that you are thinking of me…

So as many probably know, today was see you at the pole. I woke up a little late so i rushed around getting ready soon discovering that it was raining outside.. ugh great see you at the pole was going to be in the rain and i will be soaked.. Well I got there and guess what?? NO ONE WAS OUTSIDE.. i rushed inside and went to the office asking where everyone was.. little theater here i come.. I went down the hall and in the theater-  talk about awkward.. I didnt know ANYONE! Thats ok im not here for the people im here for God! We were all sitting down when all the sudden this guy started playing the guitar. Everyone is still sitting down? What is up with people these days? No respect for God.. jeez, if you cant tell this was irritating to me. No one is singing?  Oh my gosh cherry on top of my irritation.. Finally i stood thinking well.. why not? And soon everyone was standing. The first song I didnt know so i just kinda stood there and soon i picked up on the words. Praying for Gods holy spirit to be in that place at that time and for nothing to be out of his will. For him to guide our steps.. The second song I was totally oblivious to what song this was or even the beat. Lost in a world where me and my father are alone. 3rd song comes and as we sing Who am I that you are thinking of me, out of tune, wrong notes and all, i begin to cry my eyes out.. Lord Who am I that you are thinking of me- how you hear me- when i call…. is it true that you are thinking of me- how you love me- its amazing!! It was then and there that i realized the importance of worshipping God with or without music. As off key it was you would think i would be distracted.. But instead I found myself surrounded in the presence of God, feeling the warmth and the comforting that the Lord always puts over me. Im a sucker for the honest truth pure worship, it seems to pull the strings of my heart more than any million dollar record company could!! God always pours his spirit upon me in the weirdest times. Here I am crying at school in a room full of people I have hardly even seen before because the God I worship is more amazing than anything or even words!!

Worship was over and we got into a circle to pray for the schools the teachers our country etc. Boy was I nervous.. Why? I have not a clue. We began to take turns praying I felt the holy spirit telling me to open my mouth. I couldnt it was hard. But I knew that if I hadnt listened to the words of the holy spirit I would have regretted it for so long. It was silent as I opened my mouth. The thoughts in my head before I began only seemed to be, oh my word im going to start and then get lost, what will I say, my prayer isnt good enough. I finally decided that the enemy is a lie and he has no control over me. I opened my mouth and the words flew from my mouth as it was some kind of speech i had practiced before hand. When I started the silence soon grew into yes God and thank you God. I couldnt help but tremble every part of me feeling like I was going to melt into a big pile of mush.. My heart felt like it was pounding in my ears but like it was ripped out at the same time.. The pure and true worship really doesnt come from the amazing voices or the guitar that is on key. The pure and true worship doesnt even come from the best prayer you would pray, it comes from the heart, offering everything you have to your father and expecting nothing in return. As the meeting concluded I felt like I was on top of the world! Father thank you for hearing us and for the freedom you gave us this morning. We worship you in spirit and in truth!! With compassion and purity!

Lesson Learned.. (trust me)

(Sunday)::

So this past weekend was amazing in itself.. of course the norm, hanging out with Dez and feeling in an anry mood- but tired as well as I had my “fake” baby.. Lunch ended in an awkward manner as silence fell over the area I was eating in. Thank God for the people of this world who like to leave when things get a little weird. As I left pastors house with Abby I was in an upbeat mood and ready for just about anything. Arriving at practice late as normal i started to settle down as I knew it was serious time. After the amazing rehersal I found myself laughing hysterically to the embarracement of others and having no pitty on the stories that almost ruined their lives…. [time for service]  – wow i just realized we didnt practice the songs for tonight- oh well i think I got this. As we get on the platform I stand there and think wow there is no way I can be calm and focus in on what im trying to do. As I try to let the holy spirit flow I cant help but chuckle for no apparent reason, as awkward as that sounds.

Service ends, laughing continues.. fine with me, i always enjoy a great laugh. Later on I find myself at apple bees with the greatest people in my life.. Abby, Dez, and Rich.. We began talking about our boring yet ongoing and hilarious lives. As stories pour from out mouths we are in stiches laughing so hard we are crying and too loud for our own good.. (mind you, were in public) Some of our amazing stories include laughing to the embarracement of others, yet again. I confess that I cant help myself but to laugh when people fall out of chair and slip on a wet spot or do something stupid.

(Monday Morning)::

Monday morning i thought just another day nothing special.. stupid people, teachers with bad breath, hw out the wazoo.. surprise surprise! Nothing could be out of the ordinary so you would think.. Wrong! Way, way wrong. As I walk to my class (Algebra 2H with Mrs. Cohn) I dread the lectures, notes, and hw that we continuously get. Singing along to my music (I am: Eddie James) I feel a peace flow over me as I walk in the steps God has so ordered. Not for long… Im about ready to take a step up the stair when all the sudden I yelp. what was that you ask? ME.. SLIPPING ON WATER!! I begin laughing hysterically, not like anyone understands why I cant stop laughing!! I move on and in Algebra i sit, still chuckling because I cant believe the things I was just making fun of people about the day before had just happened to me. Wow never again..

During Algebra we have a break and go to lunch. So we are sitting there telling the stories of our amazing weekends and laughing so hard milk tends to fly and people are tearing up!! Oh my good times, good times.. So I sit there telling them my amazing weekend and how I loved hanging out with Kayla, Amber, Abby, Dez, and Rich when all of the sudden my chair comes right out behind me and falls to the floor.. By some miracle I stay sitting up as if my chair never fell in the first place. It had to be God holding me up, keeping me from miserable embarracement! I cant find any other reason why my chair would fall and i am still at the same level with my hands in the air laughing at my stupidness- once again!

School is finally over and I go home. As I sit there thinking about doing my dreaded homework I refeclt on my day. And I think I have come to the conclusion that I cant make fun of people anymore because everything I was just making fun of people for happened to me. Welcome to my life..

LESSON LEARNED!!